Sunday, August 12, 2012

digitally facilitated depression

First, let me say to my one follower, this post is 'not' about Second-Life. Second, it really isn't about any game in-particular and yet at the same time, 'is' about a game, IMO the worst, most OCD addictive impulse control cruel game, I've even fallen victim to. It's so bad I'm not going to name it. If you are one of the 35,000+ people this game has already ensnarled, then you know what it is. If not, then this post is about digitally facilitated depression that just happens to center around an addictive "collecting" game.

I started this game (sometime in 2010, after Christmas or early 2011?), and have tried to quit 3 times. I say "collecting" in quotes because, it's a random generator, where you add frogs to an index, and hop around in a pond and eat flies. There are 53 frog breeds, each breed has 16 accent or hue colors and 23 main body colors. 368 x 53 = 19,504 frog to collect in this index. It isn't much of a game. And I'm very confounded as to why I can't quit. My explanation to myself, is that I'm depressed right now, and this mundane hopping, and hatching eggs, 'bits' in my art and fiction, it doesn't matter if I don't want it to. And I'm hoping that if I post this, I can say goodbye to the others, playing and escape. Unfortunately, I will write a bit more when I finish that last 19% / 3,849 digital frogs. Until then ☮ I hope you are well.

(continued some time later )... shuts my brain off. It's very, very low level like watching TV. Also, there are other people trapped, making sets, playing this game and you can give them frogs and receive frog gifts. I wonder about them. I wonder if they feel trapped. Are they in a basement ? like one guy who calls himself "Dave in the basement." Are they traveling? Or in some suburb or city condo somewhere. I know one player works a graveyard shift at a desk and she, (I guess she is a she, I'm not sure) they play while they are bored at work. Today, 08-12-2012 I'm 81% finished with this index of frogs. 15,655 / 19,504 and I've been playing for just over a year. The photo in this blog was taken 10-12-2011 when I was several months into the game. I think I started playing in July? I'm writing this post, because everything we do has an influence on our lives. I need to make a record of this ... this...? brain numbing activity, because, it will relate back to

Sneeb - Sneebdubple, A.K.A. Uva Oxide

Update: I quit this "game" a 4th time. 11/28/2012, 18,091 frogs, 1,198,020 flies eaten, last time I checked my score before deleting the game from my ipad. The game designers had added 47 new frog patterns, 368 x 100 = 36,800 frogs so I was at 50% and knew that it would take me at least 2 years, playing every day to finish, and I just wanted to do other things, play other games even. .. I sort of used Plants v. Zombies as my "methadone",.. to not quit the mind numb activity cold turkey. But, I'm almost done with that game update already, and for whatever reason the cute zombie game doesn't bother me, I'm not pondering what frogs are hatched or zero stamps in my virtual mail box. "Evil-brain-drain-yuck...shudder"

It's December, 16, 2012, so it's been long enough for me to feel like I did actually quit for good this time.

Failed a 5th time. Still going 01/29/2014. 28,000. frogs later.

This photo of the Dex taken March 24, 2014. Note: there are 100 frogs now not 52 or 53 or whatever. 

May 7, 2014.  A friend gave me these frogs. I thought they looked like a set. 
I seem to be getting beyond this game, as I play less, often letting things hatch and grow before I return. 

July 3rd, 2014. dex 91% or 33,150 frogs out of 36,800. 

Lifetime? frogs 78,682 low #10 out of 57 friends #382 overall. (IMO a good thing, the less frogs I make to complete this dex the less time I have wasted).

Flies eaten: 2,222,315 #2 out of 57 friends, #49 overall (Top 10% of 35,110 players).

XP 254,511,950 #5 out of friends. (Top 30% overall ).

Gifts sent: 2,340 #5 out of friends, #61 overall, (Top 30%).

Coins: 3,835,855 #11 of friends, #4,571 (Bottom 40% of all players.

Starting to take parking shots of stupid habs before I sell of gift off the "prizes".

First sign to stop there was a crash and all my 'frogs' in all 15 had reverted to eggs. Then a couple days later all my neighbors disconnected from me. That was key. 

8 / 23 / 2014 Last stats: XP 276,680,039 ( 25 Frog coins ) # of flies eaten 2,344,157. Gifts sent 3,157 Dex 34,339 or 94%

Yes I took this photo, a stream, very clear runoff from a mountain. I'm placing it in this post because I need to change my game center icon.

Saturday Dec. 6, 2014. This post makes zero sense. But, here I am. Sometime after our last move, missing my friends and studio I started one last time, and this time I finished this "Dex" index of 36,800 cute digital frogs. 

Since this game took a bite out of my life I'm going to next type out my "stats" feel welcome to wonder what they mean. I don't have a clue. 

Rank 6 of 58 friends. And #1,249 overall out of 3,631,031 players. 

While playing this game from 2011 to 2014 I "ate" 2,489,079 flies, rank #328 / 3,639,887 players? Note to self, there is a gap in All time players and many of the stats listed here are obviously hacked.

The only other stat that is of interest to me at all is Lifetime Frogs, 91,657! crap. What a total waste of life and time. I'm 10th worst out of 58 friends. 

I can't believe I played this entire damn game. I guess I learned what to watch out for. I think I'm going to read some books now. 

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